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1.当你看到我发给你的这条短信，请用头使劲撞墙，看到没有?你眼前无数的星星就是我送给你的无限的祝福! 2.最新搞笑整人短信：是真金，永远不怕凶凶的火焰;是青松，永远不怕漫漫的严寒;是海燕，永远不怕划破天空的闪电;是笨蛋，依然盯着短信傻傻的看! 3.如果说烧一年的香可以与你相遇，烧3年的香可以与你相识，烧10年的香可以与你相惜。 所以，为了我下辈子的幸福，我愿意——改信基-督! 4.某人坐朋友的高级轿车兜风，倾慕不已：哇!坐椅都 是真皮，又软又滑，多好的皮呀!邻座的女孩大喝一声：住手!你摸的是我的大腿! 5.注意：站在镜子面前，手轻托下巴，左眼连眨三次，右眼连眨三次，然后面带微笑眼睛不停的眨呀眨，你就会隐约看到一个傻瓜正对镜子抛媚眼! 6.拔苗助长是荒诞，掩耳盗铃是蛮干。草船借箭是妙算，破釜沉舟是决战。风-花雪月是浪漫，舍生取义是奉献。你若继续往下看，你就是个大笨蛋! 7.手机逗人短信：如果没有风，云不会动;如果没有水，鱼不能游;如果没有太阳，月亮就不会有光;如果没有你……笨人也就不存在了。 8.告诉你一个发财的秘诀，你可千万别告诉别人哦!把你的钱对折一下，是不是翻倍了?哈，去整整好友吧! 更多好玩搞笑的短信 9.悟空，你擦玻璃;沙僧，你拖地吧;八戒，师傅很了解你的处境 ，经过再三的考虑，决定给你一个表现的机会——你看完这条短信以后，火速去打扫女生厕所 10.春天的花开了，是你的笑容;夏天的太阳火了，是你的热情;秋天的果实熟了，是你的收成;嘿嘿!小狗熊，这样你就可以安心的冬眠了! 11.什么东西放进去以前是干的，拿出来时是湿的，而且 令人感觉回味无穷，快活似神仙?想入非非了吧……是茶袋 12.搞笑损人短信：上帝看见你口渴，创造了水;上帝看见 你饿，创造了米;上帝看见你没有可爱的朋友，创造了我;然而他也看见这世界上没有白痴，顺便也创造你。 13.由明天开始,市里决定清除所有长相丑陋、有损市容的弱智青年!你赶快收拾东西,出去避避风头,千万别跟人说是我通知你的,切记!不必言谢! 14.上帝说过，衡量一个人的水平好比用木桶装水，水量的多少取决于最低的那片木板。不过，上帝创造了你这个桶，却好像是用来装饭. 扩展阅读： 非常经典有深度的电影英文台词 1.一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。 One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you try hard to forget are already gone. 2.幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。 Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights in one's hand. It’s about having each tiny wish come true, or having something to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when you need love. 3.爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。 Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give you strength at last. 4.我爱你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。 I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you. 5.爱情，要么让人成熟，要么让人堕落。 Love makes man grow up or sink down. 6.举得起放得下的叫举重，举得起放不下的叫负重。可惜，大多数人的爱情，都是负重的。 If you can hold something up and put it down, it is called weight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavy burdens when they are in love. 7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中，人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人，用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人，再用一天的时间去爱上一个人，到最后呢，却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。 We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour to like someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forget someone. 8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人，等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富，它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。 One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When you finally get your own happiness, you will understand the previous sadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherish the people you love. 9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱，但是随着年龄的增长，终于领悟到爱一个人，就算用一辈子的时间，还是会嫌不够。慢慢地去了解这个人，体谅这个人，直到爱上为止，是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。 When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as time goes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the whole life will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love. All this needs a very big mind. 10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天，最后成为记忆里不再重要的某一天，我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走，这不是静止火车里，与相邻列车交错时，仿佛自己在前进的错觉，而是我们真实的在成长，在这件事里成了另一个自己。 When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no more important in your memory, we suddenly realize that we are pushed forward by time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forward when another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up. And we become different. 11.离开我就别安慰我，要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。 If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain. 12.曾经拥有的，不要忘记。不能得到的，更要珍惜。属于自己的，不要放弃。已经失去的，留作回忆。 Don’t forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan’t get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep those lost things in memory. 13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离，这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。比如爱一个人，充满变数，我于是后退一步，静静的看着，直到看见真诚的感情。 I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.Only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. For example, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I step backward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings. 14.男人的爱是俯视而生，而女人的爱是仰视而生。如果爱情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。 Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love is a mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while women will see fewer men. 15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。 Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person. 16.在自己面前，应该一直留有一个地方，独自留在那里。然后去爱。不知道是什么，不知道是谁，不知道如何去爱，也不知道可以爱多久。只是等待一次爱情，也许永远都没有人。可是，这种等待，就是爱情本身。 We shall always save a place for ourselves, only for ourselves. And then begin to love. Have no idea of what it is, who he is, how to love or how long it will be. Just wait for one love. Maybe no one will come out, but this kind of waiting is the love itself. 17.有谁不曾为那暗恋而痛苦?我们总以为那份痴情很重，很重，是世上最重的重量。有一天，暮然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻，很轻的。我们以为爱的很深，很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅，很浅。最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。 Is there anyone who hasn't suffered for the secret love? We always think that love is very heavy, heavy and could be the heaviest thing in the world. But one day, when you look back, you suddenly realize that it's always light, light. We all thought love was very deep, but in fact it's very thin. The deepest and heaviest love must grow up withthe time. 18.在这个世界上，只有真正快乐的男人，才能带给女人真正的快乐。 In this world, only those men who really feel happy can give women happiness 19.女人如果不性感，就要感性;如果没有感性，就要理性;如果没有理性，就要有自知之明;如果连这个都没有了，她只有不幸。 If a woman is not sexy, she needs emotion; if she is not emotional, she needs reason; if she is not reasonable, she has to know herself clearly. coz only she has is misfortune. 20.一段不被接受的爱情，需要的不是伤心，而是时间，一段可以用来遗忘的时间。一颗被深深伤了的心，需要的不是同情，而是理解。 An unacceptable love needs no sorrow but time- sometime for forgetting.A badly-hurt heart needs no sympathy but understanding.
(责任编辑：每日一笑) |
