New Year Jokes(新年笑话两则)
A Good Dream or Bad One? 美梦还是噩梦
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package.  Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
    新年前夜欢宴之前，杰迈玛正打着盹，醒后，她跟丈夫马克斯如斯倾诉：我刚梦到你给我一个钻戒作为新年的礼物，你觉得这梦是表明什么吗？
   “啊！今晚你将知道答案。”马克斯边笑边回答。
     午夜，当新年的钟声敲响之时，马克斯来到杰迈玛身旁，将一个小礼盒放在她的手中。她欢喜兴奋不已，迫不及待地将礼盒拆开，里面竟然是一本书，书名为—“梦的解析”



Resolve to Quit Smoking
Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'Phase one?' wonders Ken.
'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'
     决心戒烟
     新年派对上，彼得向他的朋友肯索要一跟烟。
     肯说：我还以为你在新年下决心说要戒烟的吗？
   “我正戒着呢！”彼得狡颉一笑，“现在我正处于戒烟的第一阶段。”
   “第一阶段？”肯十分吃惊。
   “是的”彼得笑着说，“我已经戒掉买烟了。”