搞笑英语话剧：梁祝歪传

　　
　　人物：梁山伯  祝英台  马文才  英母  英父

　　
　　第一场景： 祝英台依依不舍 梁山伯挥泪惜别
　　
　　背景音乐 上海滩 梁山伯上场
　　
　　梁：Where is my Yingtai
　　
　　此时，背景音乐 少女时代的Gee    祝英台上场 彰显笑点 英台请注意表演
　　
　　梁:  Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.
　　
　　祝:  I love you, too! Don’t worry.  BoBo, I only love you in this world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.
　　
　　梁: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
　　
　　祝:  I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo,this time I really should be going.依依不舍 背景音乐响起 不见不散 两人分别逐步后退

　　第二场景： 英母喜爱马文才 英父痛批贪婪心
　　
　　英母：darling  darling。。。。（拉住英父）
　　
　　英父： 怒气转身  No matter what you Say, it is useless. The child's wedding  could not be so hasty（仓促的）.
　　
　　英母：but dearling ,Mawencai was so cool and so rich, There is no doubt that this is matched(相匹配的) for marriage.And……..  被英父打断
　　
　　英父： I told you many times, we could not  decide  yingtai”s wedding.
　　
　　英母：darling….The Furthest Distance in The World Is not between life and death .But when I stand in front of you ,Yet you do not known he is so handsome.The furthest distance in the world Is not between poor and rich,but when I stand in front of you,Yet you can not see his love to yingtai.
　　
　　英父：Oh, honey,you are so konwledegable, 哼哼，give me a kiss，give me a kiss.
　　
　　英母：嘘……..look,too many people…作害羞状
　　
　　英父：easy…拿雨伞挡住 然后Kissing

　　
　　第三场景： 马文才志疏学浅舍重金 英父母笑纳彩礼嫁爱女
　　
　　（马文才上，拿折扇）
　　
　　马：I love yingtai so much. I hope I can make it .
　　
　　马：aunt……注意回音效果
　　
　　英母：文才……注意回音效果
　　
　　马：哎……
　　
　　英母：oh，That was you， come in ，sit down please!
　　
　　马：aunt, I love yingtai so much，you know .  here are my gifts，100 bottles of 国窖1573 .
　　
　

　笑点 广告
　　
　　英母：喝了1573，腿也不疼了，腰也不酸了，一口气能上三楼了，一瓶顶过去五瓶

　　
　　马:他好，我也好 （整个广告过程面向观众，突出效果）
　　
　　马：three Benz and a big house in the seaside and so on .I hope you will like them!
　　
　　母：there is no doubt that yingtai must be yours , you are so handsome.
　　
　　父： NO way ! 大怒指着马
　　
　　马：that’s why?
　　
　　英父：I will ask you some questions ,listen ….
　　
　　马：OK
　　
　　英父：Do you know who is张国荣, who is张曼玉 ,
　　
　　马：I don’t know.
　　
　　英父：do you know who is 科比布莱恩特, who is姚明,
　　
　　马：I don’t know.
　　
　　英父：Do you know 黄岩岛 and 钓鱼岛 belong to China
　　
　　马：I don’t know.
　　
　　英父：Do you see yourself? you look like a pig who know nothing? （转向英母）You ask me to Take yingtai  to marry him how I can trust him ?
　　
　　英母：I have no words.
　　
　　马：but aunt have accepted my 3 million dollars and gifts.
　　
　　父：money ？You think money can buy everything?True love is priceless！Only 3 million dollar…. only 3 million dollar…. only 3 million dollar…. （逐渐反应过味来）OK  OK  You give me 3 million dollar  and yingtai belongs to you 把女儿拉过来，推给马文才  （注意背景音乐 陶喆 今天你要嫁给我 ）
　　
　　马：Oh,娘子……

　　
　　第四场景： 祝英台越洋提分手 梁山伯闻此怒结怨
　　
　　电话铃声响
　　
　　梁: Oh, honey, I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
　　
　　祝: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.
　　
　　梁: What? Pardon?
　　
　　祝: Because I’ll get married. My  parents had taken me to marry Ma Wencai  He is so handsome, just like 刘德华. So rich, even richer than比尔盖茨. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.此时 马文才注意表演
　　
　　梁: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color see see.
　　
　　祝：shanbo, If life deceives(欺骗) you, don't be sad, don't be impatient! believe me. everything will pass,and all these things will become a kind of memory.
　　
　　梁：FUCK you, the sun of beach(脏话). I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America!
　　
　　祝: America? Shit (脏话), You can come to America? Hahahaha大笑 your English is so terrible

　　
　　第五场景： 梁山伯家中练口语 怒气生欲赴美行刺
　　
　　梁： I have a dream. even though I face the difficulties of today and tomorrow,  It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.  我有一个梦想  背景音乐 算你狠 喝闷酒 讲台词
　　

　　第六场景：马文才一副空皮囊 梁山伯抱得美人归
　　
　　（梁山伯飞往美国）
　　
　　旁：a year later,liangshanbo found zhuyingtai in American
　　
　　梁: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, do you still know that who I am. I’m here to kill you.
　　
　　祝: Liang….shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.祝英台拉着马文才
　　
　　马: You! Get out of here.
　　
　　梁: You! Get out of here! 背景音乐 儿歌 找朋友 梁马二人表演 有待商量
　　
　　马：流氓会武术，谁也挡不住
　　
　　梁：流氓没文化
　　
　　马：我可是有大学本科学历的………流氓……
　　
　　梁：这年头没有博士文凭也敢出来耍流氓 （梁扔掉扇子，拿出枪）
　　
　　马：Oh,哥们儿， wait please,(接电话) Hello ,I am Wencai ,  OK ,OK , I will get there now
　　
　　祝: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.
　　
　　马: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way..
　　
　　祝: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典
　　
　　马: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典
　　
　　梁：想走…..It is not so easy  （开枪）
　　
　　马文才搞笑吐血，祝英台的母亲出来扶
　　
　　英母：Oh, no , you can not die ,你不能死，彩礼钱还没给够呢
　　
　　祝: Oh, you are a big liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh, darling, will you kill me? 动作声音妩媚些  妩媚些眨眼睛
　　
　　梁: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
　　
　　祝: When we were young, you said you will love me forever. Don’t kill me, ok? BOBO.
　　
　　.
　　
　　梁: No way! Wherever you go, whatever you say, I’ll kill you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
　　
　　祝: Please believe in me, you know I love you. I love you just like老鼠爱大米. I want to marry you.
　　
　　梁: Really?
　　
　　祝: Oh, of course.
　　
　　梁：曾经  Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it. If I was to meet her again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love her, I would say ten thousand years.如果，非要在这份爱上加一个期限，我希望是……一万年！
　　
　　祝：Oh, honey… 此时两人相拥 配合音乐 道具雨伞上