A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

委婉提醒 A Gentle Reminder

       Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？

　　他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：因此，你想交换座位吗？

别太自私 Don't be selfish

A mother is admonishing her son.

_Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.

_But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.

一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。

'听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。' '妈妈，我是让他。我先骑下坡，他再骑上坡。'

最好的奖赏 Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

'The best way, sir,' said the deck hand, 'is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in.'

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

你是怎样来的？

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. 'It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.'

The boss eyed him suspiciously. 'Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?'

'I finally gave up,' he said, 'and started for home.'

一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”

老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”

“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”

The result of a Promise

Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term?
父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到。你上学期一直在干什么呀？

Son: I was learning to drive a car.
儿子：我在学开汽车。

女儿的音乐课是一笔财富

Jack: My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me.
John: How is that?
Jack: They enabled me to buy the neighbor's houses at half price.
　
杰克：我女儿的音乐课对我来说就是一笔财富呀。
约翰：这是怎么回事呢？
杰克：因为音乐课使我们只用半价就买下了邻居的房子。

St Peters question 圣彼德的问题

　　Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, 'There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?' The doctor answers, 'The Titanic' and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, 'How many people died in that ship?' Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, '1 500!'. St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, 'Name them!'.


　　有三个人死了，分别是一名医生、一名会计和一名律师。他们来到了圣彼德面前。圣彼德对他们说，如果他们想进入天堂，就得每人回答一个问题。圣彼德看着医生开始发问，“以前电影院放过一部电影，说的是一艘船撞击冰山后沉没，电影的名字是什么？”　医生回答，“＜＜泰坦尼克号＞＞”，医生随即被允许进入天堂。然后圣彼德看着会计说，“船上有多少人遇

One Point 一分之差

Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －'62-63', '63-64', '64-65', etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, 'Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?'

位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学，其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球，上面标明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。

一天，我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来，说道：“多奇怪呀，这些队都是以一分之差输掉的！'

Napoleon Was Ill 拿破仑病了

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

'He's a good boy,' said Jack's father, 'and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.'

'No, no, that's quite impossible,' replied the professor immediately. 'Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!'

'Please, sir, give him another chance,' said Jack's father. 'You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.'

杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克