英语笑话大全 爆笑
1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?" 一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?" 2.The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!" 疯人院 一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:“我是拿破仑!”另一个说:“你怎么知道?”第一个人说:“上帝对我说的!”一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:“我没说!”
英语笑话大全 爆笑篇二 英语幽默小笑话大全 1.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'" 2.a great man Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. 一名伟人 老师:如果莎士比亚还活着,他会是一名伟人吗? 学生:当然。因为到目前为止,还没有人活到400多岁。 3.buying your ticket Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.
英语笑话大全 爆笑篇三 慢慢长假,你是否为自己的暑假制定了好的英语学习计划呢?在这里,海狼英语学习网为大家提供一份xiaohua网友分享的自己的暑假英语学习计划,希望大家娱乐与学习相结合,过个充实愉快的暑假. 暑假英语学习计划: 一、总则: 1、坚持每一天,充分利用一切可以利用的时间学英语。没有持之以恒的学习和大量的时将做保障,一切都是空谈。 2、每天听写一篇文章,以此文章为中心,展开一天的学习。 3、听说读写译五项都要练,以听说为主。 4、求质不求量,把听写的文章彻底搞懂足矣,不要好大喜功,贪大贪快。扎扎实实,按部就班,是学好英语的必经之路。 5、把零碎的时间充分利用起来学英语,不断地重复。 6、听写是个学习英语的好方法,要继续加强。 7、早睡早起学英语。 8、抓住一套教材足矣,不要盲目的更换教材。 9、每天学习英语必须要有详细可行的计划,必须坚决执行,没有任何借口。 10、相信自己,一定能够学好英语。 二、分则: (一)听力: 1、除周末外,每天晚上10:00——12:00听写一篇五分钟左右的短文。着重听力后的分析过程。 2、早晚都随身带MP3,一有空闲时间就反复听这篇短文,直到听烂为止。 3、周末看一部外国电影,复习就内容,检查一周来的学习计划执行情况。 4、重视精听,听无数遍。 (二)口语: 1、朗读并努力复述听写的短文。
英语笑话大全 爆笑篇四 幽默、搞笑的中英文翻译大全 ~本人见过的最邪门的翻译 电影 《国产007》=《From Beijing with Love》——从北京带着爱 《唐伯虎点秋香》=《Flirting Scholar》——正在调情的学者 《鹿鼎记》(黄晓明版 陈小春版 梁朝伟版) =《Royal Tramp》——皇家流浪汉 《英雄本色》=《A Better Tomorrow》——明天会更好 《神雕侠侣》(内地版 古天乐版 刘德华版)=《Saviour of the Soul》——灵魂的救星 《三国演义》=《Romance of Three Kingdoms》——三个王国的罗曼史 《赤壁》=《Red Cliff》——红岩 《霸王别姬》=《Farewell My Concubine》——再见了,我的小老婆 《东邪西毒》=《Ashes of Time》——时间的灰烬(这个译名意味深长,无论你是东邪还是西毒,武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬?) 《甲方乙方》=《Dream Factory》——梦工厂 《烈火金刚》=《Steel Meets Fire》——钢遇上了火 《刘三姐》=《Third Sister Liu》——第三个姐姐刘 《花样年华》=《In the Mood for Love》——在爱的情绪中 1
英语笑话大全 爆笑篇五 英语幽默笑话带翻译 (责任编辑:每日一笑) |